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Sunday, January 20, 2013

...what?...

Shit....I didn't realize it had been this long, yet again, since I had posted anything. Time is a fickle thing and easy to lose track of, at that, in which I kept putting things off, day after day. I'm actively dealing with family life, full-time engineering school, and finding a balance in my head that I cannot seem to achieve. Some people seem to have this drive that propels them forward with such ferocity, they may be ignoring something much more paramount. In a push for success, be it in the workplace, family setting, or otherwise, someone or something has to suffer or be neglected. I don't believe I have that kind of aggressive drive in which all around me are simply miserable pawns and I am tormenting them with my selfish pursuits.

Ever since my brother's passing, I've lost a lot of myself. I may have my toddler son to keep me in check, but something deep inside me stirs....or rather, the thing inside tears at me. I feel that I may not be in control of my emotions and inner insecurities. I cannot watch a movie, even the cheesy Disney/animated flicks, depicting father/son or brothers in some truly tragic episode without breaking down. I can hold back the floodgates for only so long but, eventually, they shatter like the levees of New Orleans.

I'm hoping this short piece will simply be my venting as a means to break out on the "blogging" scene(who even calls it that anymore?) and finding a channel to exercise my wordology.

I don't know...