...who knew?...

The strength of a person’s mind is as powerful as their will. In light of recent incidents, I’ve realized the tenacity and determination required to look away from an old attachment, routines, or even, a friend. You never thought the day would come when the expiration lapsed and a total meltdown would ensue. Years of quiet tolerance, patient ignorance, and a gnawing fear that it would be for naught. I have come a long way from fists in the streets to words at the dinner table. Yet, I never thought such words would be spilled at a friendly dinner. Then, the clouds raged and grew dark. Over a meal of meat and potatoes, friendly words soon soured, turned into hatred and ugliness, and blood boiled.

From the first word, I felt my brow weigh down. My nape prickled and grew hot. The acid-hot blood surged through my veins and I saw the beginnings of darkness. Prone to extreme anger and violence in truly necessary situations, I felt I was thrown into the pit of lions. All I saw at that point was KILL.  Here was what I thought was my comrade, my friend, and he simply lost it. With that in mind, I realized I couldn’t react like I would in the darkest situations, despite these ugly words. Yet, the beast in me screamed to kill, ravage, destroy, mutilate, just to react in a simply destructive way. The man in me kept the beast in check, but not without repercussions. At only the halfway point of this altercation, I began shaking and quivering violently with the inner desire for combustion battling my self-control. I could feel the beast clawing, tearing inside me, roaring to kill, but yet, I was holding back.
Somehow, I was able to restrain myself, keep it cool, and calmly try to break down the situation. I asked questions pertinent to our lives, our future, and the implications of the now. Completely disregarded, I was shocked. It went above and beyond what was necessary in unnecessary. I mustered up the strength to say my last words without backlash.

You will regret this. You will regret the things you’ve said and done. You don’t know it now, but you will see it soon.

These last words weren’t said once, but multiple times. I tried to give the benefit of doubt, the moment of pause to react appropriately, yet it was a lost cause. After the final saying of these words, I got up and turned my back to my former friend. While I didn’t decide it would be forever, I knew it my mind and heart that it will be so. Upon descending the steps out the door and into the street, I was engulfed in a blackness of rage and anguish. I was still shocked by the turn of events, yet accepting of my decision and choice.
The strength of a person’s mind is as powerful as it allows them to believe as long as there is a degree of control and sanity. Sadly, I believe two powerful minds were at a head and one prevailed. The other seemed to have cracked like glass and spilled its contents out, plaguing me with its evil words. It took much out of me but I realized that I am much stronger than that.
The strength of my mind is of my own perception of my true power. I make this point by diminishing means of communication, desire, or relationship. I feel a sense of comfort and stability by looking to the future, not the past.
There is no time for a person to be brought down by another person’s words or actions.