Brotherly fallout

Things have been interesting the last few weeks.
Hard hit issues.
Personality dilemmas.
Financial resolution.
Hunger.
Rage boiling over.
It's really hard to process things sometimes. I've been lost for a while. Can't make decisions on simple things. Can't accept the consequences. No way of being sane and sensible when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart.
Sometimes, it seems like all is lost.

Makes you want to disappear. Hide. Drown the feelings and thoughts with something.
No more.
Choices like these are prime traps for weakness.
I feel like I'm only getting stronger and my family is getting weaker.
They let themselves get dragged down by the weakness of one member.
Let him go. Let him suffer. Let him learn. Let him realize that life isn't to be chased away, veiled from truth, and wasted on trivial things.
Sadness.
It might be the only way to get the message across.
My fucking brother.

I dont know what to say about him.
I love him.
All I have for him is anger.
From out of his mouth, the truth and sincerity (at least I thought it was) seemed to reassure no more fuckups. No more slips. Finally...things can be at ease...

The time isn't right.
Maybe now, maybe not....

You think you can get your years back....but you won't.
You can only appreciate the now and future.

Hopefully....not all is lost.
Maybe see him in a few years.
Who knows?

Fuck.