...contemplation...

It has finally happened. The long waiting period, the changes necessary, and the growth mentally. After puttering around the first half or so of 2009, I'm finally cracking the books. Constantly checking my schedule for homework, reading up on my material, and writing papers. The first week or so was a stumbling block. I felt like I couldn't sit still to do enough work. I couldn't approach the thought processes necessary to write in different perspectives. It was the rust on my brain holding me back. The 7 years since high school gone stale. Then, just a few days ago, I found my space and rhythm. It's been a smooth ride since. I'm beginning to relish the challenge and I'm beginning to want more than they can offer this semester.
Now, practically mid-coitus with another transitional phase, I'm merely biding my time. I wont be here in the OC much longer will all you folks. I know it's a sad thing leaving, but the grip of the bubble will fade soon enough. The day I leave OC, add some miles between me and her, and settle in my new territory, I will be able to sigh and sink in my chair. I will truly miss all my friends and family, but who is to live my life?
I had a dream last night that I was packing up and all my friends were there watching me. Nobody was helping, which was odd, because it was at the same time I was trying to load up the heaviest items. They were all expressionless, but numbered, and I could only look back as I was in the process and see the lack of emotion. Then, I realized, they didn't even have faces. They were just figures, shells of themselves, not even souls. I, then, turned to my truck and realized it was overflowing and I was about to be beset by my own furniture. It came tumbling, crashing, splintering, and crushing me. I lay there on the driveway, the hard blacktop, and I looked up from my place. They had moved closer and were leaning in. Yet, no faces. Silhouettes and outlines surrounded me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, I couldn't reach. They were coming for me. Their hands reached out and got closer until the light blotted out from their palms. It became very dark and I closed my eyes to let it be swift. Then, nothing. I finally wake up in my own bed with both arms straight out in front of me to stop the hands. The hands of my friends coming for my soul.
Is that what it was?